A few months ago I was visiting a well known Swedish furniture store and spotted a sickly Ficus with half a dozen leaves and a dejected air. It was reduced by about twenty quid to a fiver. “Bargain,” I thought and whisked it away home.
We nurtured it back to health. It grew more leaves and started to look really quite chipper. But there is a problem. A problem that we noticed immediately we got it home. It’s a little rude. Actually, it’s quite a lot rude.
Maybe that’s why it was languishing in the shop. No one quite knew what to do with it.
It does get a laugh when we have people round (my teenage niece collapses in a heap of giggles whenever she sees it and has to be escorted from the room). Or a sharp intake of breath, a pursing of lips and a change of subject.
The Anxious Gardener 
Gosh, Mr Kininvie. Can't see the first pic thing at all. Please explain …
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Even the back view (the first pic) is rude. I'm not sure that it's not even ruder….
(Interesting that no one dares pick this post – I see I'm the first)
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Fairly prominent, Janet. You can't really miss it! What is this Kama Sutra of which you speak? An Austen novel perhaps? Or Hardy? Not one I've heard of.
Dave
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What a fabulous way to discover the true nature of visitors to your home! I hope you have it dsiplayed somewhere prominent… I too saw a chicken at first, and wondered why a chicken carcass had restorative effects on nearly dead ficus plants. Looking closer… Well, talk about The Secret Life of Plants! Who knew that ficus (fici? ficuses?) read the Kama Sutra…
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Faisal, it's that old thing about wanting to save a distressed plant. And bagging a bargain!
Petra, maybe that was why it was languishing. Must say I've never thought of it as creepy, perhaps because I felt sorry for it.
Stacy, indeed. Perhaps I ought to train some of the branches downwards …
Esther, hadn't seen the turkey/chicken thing at all. Sort of can now …
Jane, probably best not to look at all and just look politely elsewhere.
Dave
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Ooh! I say, I'm not sure where to look…blush!!x
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When the picture came up, I thought it was a plant sticking out of a chicken . . which, I suppose, is almost the same as Petra's turkey.
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That's a lot of entertainment for five pounds. A well-placed fig leaf (ahaha) might not hurt, though…
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That looks like a nude turkey!!!!!!! Not sure I'd give that any TLC…. terrible I know, but its rather creepy!
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How much better, Dave, to have taken homw an individual desperate for some TLC than a perfect but bland clone.
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