A Bargain

A few months ago I was visiting a well known Swedish furniture store and spotted a sickly Ficus with half a dozen leaves and a dejected air.  It was reduced by about twenty quid to a fiver.  “Bargain,” I thought and whisked it away home.


We nurtured it back to health.  It grew more leaves and started to look really quite chipper.  But there is a problem.  A problem that we noticed immediately we got it home.  It’s a little rude.  Actually, it’s quite a lot rude.

Maybe that’s why it was languishing in the shop.  No one quite knew what to do with it.

It does get a laugh when we have people round (my teenage niece collapses in a heap of giggles whenever she sees it and has to be escorted from the room).  Or a sharp intake of breath, a pursing of lips and a change of subject.

10 thoughts on “A Bargain

  1. Fairly prominent, Janet. You can't really miss it! What is this Kama Sutra of which you speak? An Austen novel perhaps? Or Hardy? Not one I've heard of.



  2. What a fabulous way to discover the true nature of visitors to your home! I hope you have it dsiplayed somewhere prominent… I too saw a chicken at first, and wondered why a chicken carcass had restorative effects on nearly dead ficus plants. Looking closer… Well, talk about The Secret Life of Plants! Who knew that ficus (fici? ficuses?) read the Kama Sutra…


  3. Faisal, it's that old thing about wanting to save a distressed plant. And bagging a bargain!

    Petra, maybe that was why it was languishing. Must say I've never thought of it as creepy, perhaps because I felt sorry for it.

    Stacy, indeed. Perhaps I ought to train some of the branches downwards …

    Esther, hadn't seen the turkey/chicken thing at all. Sort of can now …

    Jane, probably best not to look at all and just look politely elsewhere.



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